hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
