She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
