is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
