So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
