Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
