I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
