bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
