help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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