I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
