ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My life is pants optional.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
