well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
