Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
