No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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