Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
