Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
