It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
