If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
