Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
