Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
