she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
