dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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