He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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