Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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