I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
