It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
