people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize