There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We need to get me chipped asap
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
