The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
