Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
