Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
