She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
