Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
