i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
