After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't think brook has ever known best
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
