How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
