Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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