as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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