Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
