using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
