my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
