when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
