Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
