Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
