Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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