She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
