is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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