I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
