You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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