First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
