ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
