A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
