I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
