Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
